It was easier to count the times when there wasn't an all-in, and you didn't have to have been born in Norfolk to have enough fingers on one hand for that. I'd expected Del to be particularly keen on the rebuy game, but he is prone to distraction. Busily chatting away, he had to be prompted to put in his big blind. On hearing his name called, he announced all-in, and promptly got a cake-walk, taking just the small blind of 25 with his pocket tens.

He soon made up for that with a massive pot of about 15K when I hit 2 pairs on the turn (K3) only to reveal he'd already flopped the nut straight (broadway). Later on he let Craig catch up a little (KJ on a J high flop), and went A-I over Craig's bet, which was called. Del showed his pocket rockets, but the turn was another J and Del's fortunes swung into reverse again. It was that sort of night.

We got a new Walk Of Shame entry when Nick bet all-in on a flush draw flop, but Craig's top pair held good. Jane was low-stacked (surely a first?) and decided to call Mike's JJ with J9 suited. No miracle was forthcoming and Jesus did not appear, although I thought I heard an "Oh God" from Jane.

Next G went out (pocket 9s beaten by my pocket Ts). I also managed to send Del home when he hit his kicker with A8, only to see he was up against my AA. Then a huge 3-way pot developed, which was a guaranteed chip lead for the winner.. On a J high flop, Mark had 2 overs and an up/down straight draw. Craig had a lower up/down draw, and I had AJ - top pair, top kicker. There was no help for Craig or Mark, and I finally managed to breathe out again.

Oley fell on the bubble when the flop of AJT gave him second pair and a flush draw with his J8 spades, but my AK also held, leaving me against Mark and Mike to sort out the cash and a few points.

I'm not sure what hands were involved when Mike took Mark's remaining chips because I was busy trying to finish the game before the dawn came up. I managed to let Mike bully me out of my chip lead through a good amount of slow playing, and eventually I succumbed to playing a nice looking hand when he had A9 off. Mike hit his bullet for a well-deserved victory marked by considerable patience.

All of which is fine and dandy, but will not be remembered this time next week. However, I can tell you what will be remembered this time next year, and probably beyond. Jane had just lost and was paying a visit before she headed off home.

"Aaaaaaaaaagh!" We stopped, looked at each other, and then G quickly went to see what terrible accident had happened. Fortunately Jane was OK, but she hadn't been able to sit and go, as it were. She'd managed to drop her car key down the toilet - talk about out of position! Jane - we've told you before, its bad etiquette to splash the pot.

In fact it wasn't just her car key - Jane had a set, and in keeping with the theme of the night, they were all in. No-one likes a dirty stack, and there wasn't even a boat to rescue them. Don't worry, Jane, we promise never to mention it again. In case you haven't got a tell on me yet, that's a bluff, by the way.

Yes, Jane quickly found out that hitting a flush (even a backdoor flush) after you've been knocked out is not good. Especially when you've just mucked your hand, which is the best thing to do with a big slick. In fact, it was the first crap hand that Del didn't even think about playing with. It may have been a family pot, but there was no help for Jane in raising. Having to go South and fish her own outs - that really was the pot limit. Being a home game, there wasn't even a rake to help her.

I'm not even going to mention bottom-dealing or chip-dumping, but the next time she has a wee accident, I promise not to take the piss.