Welcome to The Phat Dogs website. We're a home game group that play No Limit  Holdem on Wednesday nights in and around the Reading area (attention U.S.A. - that's a town, in England, not the library). Sorry if that's patronising, but then what do you expect - you did put Bush in.

As if Reading wasn't glamorous enough for you, these outlying chocolate-box hamlets and villages include such tourist-favourite places as Bracknell and Chertsey. We've been threatened by the prospect of having to visit old Dogs in pastures new - the hell-holes that are Switzerland, Dubai and possibly Barcelona. But much like the prospect of Premiership fixtures being held in Beijing, it wouldn't really be the same. For a start, I'd miss the adrenalin rush of wondering if tonight was the night I'll get mugged on the way home for my winnings...

So... er, yeah. If you're local and have more money (or balls) than sense, and  think you'd be able to cope with outrageous 3-outer calls that hit on the river without banging on about it for the next month or seven, you might just enjoy playing the Dogs. We don't take things that seriously - we just happen to be good. Or if you're one of our lot, god. Apparently. Please don't write in - I didn't say your god. I didn't even say you're good. Although even if you are (good) we'll be better.

Anyway, post on our forum if you think you can play. But you'd better have a good poker nickname - otherwise we'll give you one and it'll suck balls. I mean, look at mine. You can only guess at the amount of respect I get at the table. Unless you're some sort of macro-biotic scientist, in which case it IS unlikely that you'd be made too welcome after the first 5 minutes. No offence - but we already have enough freaks. One glance at our forum will convince you.

Steve Deadmoney